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<title>But My Peace has Always Depended on All the Ashes in My Wake by SargentCorn</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27057916">But My Peace has Always Depended on All the Ashes in My Wake</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SargentCorn/pseuds/SargentCorn'>SargentCorn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Barry (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Canonical Character Death, Non-Canonical Character Death, Red String of Fate, References to Barry's Military Service, Suicidal Thoughts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:55:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27057916</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SargentCorn/pseuds/SargentCorn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>At ten years old, a red string usually wraps around your ringer finger towards your soul mate.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barry's Mom/Barry's Dad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>But My Peace has Always Depended on All the Ashes in My Wake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Please let me know I missed a tag or two. Either way, enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At ten years old, a red string usually wraps around your ringer finger towards your soul mate.</p>
<p>When his tenth birthday rolls around, and no string appears, Barry should have taken that as his first hint that he wouldn’t be normal. Because as the weeks roll by and the string doesn't appear, despite his mama’s promise that maybe he’s just a late bloomer, it becomes clear he’s not getting that mythical soul mate all his friends giggle about at school.</p>
<p>And the cool steel expression his father holds every time he asks doesn’t help.</p>
<p>Then the rumors leak about his lack of a red string, and his self-esteem plummets faster than a house of cards. And his peers are merciless in their teasing. ‘Soulless Berry,” they taunt, voices jeering without care. When he walks by adults, they’re only silent and cast him looks of pity.</p>
<p>His mama and Uncle Fuches are the only two in his corner. Decades pass before he understands why Fuches always stood behind him.</p>
<p>In the sixth grade, he gets a dash of hope. Five days after his eleventh birthday, blood-red string wraps around his finger. A sight that makes him burst into his parents' room excitable. It’s the first time he’s seen his father smile in years, and Barry feels the hope in his chest rise.</p>
<p>But he shouldn’t have had any.</p>
<p>The next night, he wakes his parents up from agonized screaming. His ring finger is burning like a brand, and in between his thrashing away from his father’s hold, he sees the string slide off. Pain overcomes him, followed by blood forcing his parents to take him to the hospital.</p>
<p>He’s there for a week stringless once more.</p>
<p>He never recovers from the experience.</p>
<p>At eighteen, he enlists in the Marines hoping to he's killed in action. Spare his mama the pain of him committing suicide, and his father the shame. But to the delight of the military, he’s one hell of a sharpshooter. One of the best in recent history. Both a blessing and a curse.</p>
<p>The anger that’s been brewing since his preteen years grows steadier worse. Makes his fellow soldiers wary.</p>
<p>Top brass ignores in favor of keeping one of their best men on the war front as long as possible.</p>
<p>Korengal shatters that belief in a million shards.</p>
<p>He’s taken from the front-lines and into a hospital in Germany until his court-martial. But from the shadows, Fuches appears and pulls some strings, blaming the top brass for knowing about Barry’s past and not pulling him out sooner. It works, and he finds himself in Cleveland empty.</p>
<p>His parents died in a car crash months ago.</p>
<p>But Fuches comes back with a plan on a forked tongue. Use his skills to kill evil people. Right his wrong by staining the ground with a thousand pools of blood.</p>
<p>Barry takes it; he doesn’t know what else to do.</p>
<p>With each death, his pain smolders under his skin, no longer as loud as it once was. But with everything else it starts to crack, and the pain comes back with a vengeance. Sleepless nights turn into waking nightmares.</p>
<p>The gun in his hand whispers sweet promises of a void if he just pulls the trigger on himself. He doesn’t. Fuches wouldn’t allow it. His blood-soaked redemption isn’t done after all.</p>
<p>And another job comes bringing him to Los Angeles. Glimmers of hope trailing behind, but he can’t see it behind the target he stalks. Not until he’s swept onto the stage, clapping snapping at his heels.</p>
<p>He snaps the hope in half when he still carries out the job he was hired to do. Then shatters it like a bullet through the heart of the white-haired teacher when the man sees him kill the other.</p>
<p>Letting the dark of the alleyway consume him, he knows Fuches won’t be happy with the extra body. The money they're getting from the hit will soothe most of the complaints from him.</p>
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